Alright folks, grabbed my tree shovel yesterday ’cause this giant rhododendron in the front just ain’t happy. Figured it needed moving, and yeah, root ball’s the name of the game. Heard big roots equal happy plants, right? Here’s how it went down, warts and all.
The Starting Struggle
First off, this shovel ain’t light. Dragged it outta the shed, nearly took out my wife’s prize petunias – whoops. Tool looks mean, like a giant spoon with teeth. My neighbor Jim wandered over, coffee in hand, giving me that “you sure about this?” look. Whatever, Jim.
Tried stabbing it straight into the dirt near the bush. Yeah, no. Ground’s harder than my Aunt Mabel’s fruitcake. Bent my back like a pretzel, shovel bounced right off. Dirt flew, some landed in Jim’s coffee. He left. Win.
Figuring Out the Angle Thing
Sat right there on the grass, staring at this metal beast. Manual? Lost it years ago. Remembered something about angles. Decided instead of hammering down, I’d push the shovel forward like I’m cutting butter. Dug my boot heel onto the shovel’s ledge thingy and leaned in hard.
- First Chop: Went in maybe two inches. Progress? Kinda. My wrist yelled at me.
- Second Try: Moved about a foot over. Same move. More leaning, less stabbing. Dirt started breaking loose. Felt like I finally got it.
- Third Hack: Got cocky, put my whole weight on it. Shovel plunged deep, handle smacked my ribs. Note to self: ribs are softer than dirt. Oof.
The Root Ball Revelation (Sorta)
After going ’round the bush like this eight times? Nine? Lost count. Sweat drippin’. Finally got all the sides cut down. Now came the tricky bit – undercutting. Shovel’s curved for this, I guess. Jammed it sideways underneath where I figured the roots ended and just heaved.
Heard a nasty CRUNCH. Panicked. Thought I severed everything. Peeked under – nope, just one thick root singing soprano. The actual root ball underneath looked like a messy dirt pancake, all held together with… hope? And some thin roots. Dug the shovel deeper, rocked it back and forth like cracking a giant egg. Whole thing lifted! Mostly intact. Mostly.
Dragged it over to the new hole I’d dug earlier (another story, involving more sweat and blaming squirrels). Plopped it in. Dirt pancake stayed mostly round. Threw soil back around it, stomped it down like I hated it. Watered it like crazy. Looks okay. Ish. Time will tell if it croaks. Anyway, here’s my take:
- Stop Stabbing, Start Sliding: Forget brute force. Get low, step on that shovel step, and slide it forward horizontally to cut roots. Less stabbing, less cussing.
- Circle Like a Hawk: Chop all the way around first, way wider than you think the plant is. Don’t be lazy, do the full circle. Root surprise bites hurt.
- Lift With Your Knees (& Your Prayers): Undercutting’s scary. Slide shovel deep underneath at a flat angle and ROCK, don’t pry. Pray the roots hold. If dirt falls off… well, maybe don’t look.
Not exactly graceful, felt more like wrestling a muddy bear. Is this ideal? Dunno. Did it work? Ask me next spring. Right now, I need a beer. Maybe Jim’ll share his coffee again? Doubt it.
