Alright, listen up, y’all. Let’s talk about this guava thing, you know, the one in my yard. It’s got these pretty flowers, real purdy-like, but dang it, no fruit! I’ve been waitin’ and waitin’, like a hen on a china egg, but nothin’. So, I started pokin’ around, askin’ folks, and here’s what I figured out, kinda sorta.
First thing, them guavas, they ain’t babies no more. I mean, they gotta be, what, three years old, maybe more, before they start givin’ you somethin’ back. It’s like kids these days, always takin’, never givin’. But these plants, they at least give you flowers first, so that’s somethin’, I guess. So if your plant is still a young’un, you just gotta be patient, like waitin’ for water to boil on a cold stove.
Then there’s this sun thing. Seems like these guavas, they love the sun, more than a cat loves a sunny windowsill. The more sun they get, the more flowers they make, and that should mean more fruit, right? That’s what they told me, anyways. So, if your guava’s stuck in the shade, well, that might be your problem right there. Move it out into the open, let it soak up the sunshine, and see if that helps. Just like us old folks, gotta get our sun, or we shrivel up.
- Too little sun? No good.
- Too much shade? Even worse.
Now, let’s talk about the dirt. Yeah, the dirt! You can’t just stick a plant in any old dirt and expect it to do its thing. It needs good dirt, you know, dirt that’s got stuff in it, like… uh… I heard some fancy word, somethin’ like “nigh-tro-gen” or somethin’. And somethin’ else, “foss-for-us”? Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in a dinosaur bone. Anyways, if your dirt’s no good, your guava ain’t gonna be no good either. So maybe you gotta get some of that fancy dirt, or maybe some… what do they call it?… fertilizer. Yeah, that’s it. Feed your plant, just like you feed your chickens, and maybe it’ll start doin’ what it’s supposed to do.
And water! Don’t forget the water. Everything needs water, even us old folks. But not too much, mind you. Just enough to keep it happy. Too much water, and it’ll drown, just like a kitten in a well. Too little, and it’ll dry up like a prune in the sun. Gotta find that happy medium, you know? Like Goldilocks and the three bears, not too hot, not too cold, just right.
Oh, and another thing. Pruning. Yeah, that’s what they call it. Cut off some of them branches, so the plant can focus on makin’ fruit, not just more leaves. It’s like trimmin’ your hair, I guess. Gets rid of the dead stuff, makes it look nicer, and maybe it helps the plant grow better too. I don’t know much about it but my neighbor does that all the time, she said that’s what those fancy city folk do.
So, there you have it. That’s what I learned about these guava plants. It ain’t rocket science, that’s for sure. But it’s enough to give me somethin’ to do, besides sittin’ on the porch and watchin’ the grass grow. And maybe, just maybe, one of these days, I’ll get some of them guavas. Until then, I’ll just keep waterin’, and fertilizin’, and prayin’ to the good Lord. And if that don’t work, well, I guess I’ll just go buy some guavas at the store. Ain’t nobody got time to deal with a stubborn plant.
But the flowers are really pretty, gotta give ‘em that.
Tags: [Guava, Fruit, Plant Care, Gardening, Flowers, Sunlight, Soil, Water, Pruning, No Fruit]
