Honestly, buying a fiddle leaf fig ain’t like grabbing any old houseplant. I almost murdered my first one ‘cause I picked wrong. Here’s how I learned – the hard way.
Why I Gotta Do This Guide
Saw these leafy beasts everywhere – Instagram, Pinterest, my neighbor’s living room. Thought “how hard could it be?” Went to a big-box store, grabbed a tall one that looked fine. Dropped $80. Thing dropped leaves like confetti in two weeks. Roots were mush. RIP.
What I Did Next Time
Learned my lesson. Hit up three local nurseries armed with notes. Started in the car – checked leaves UNDERNEATH. Looked for bugs. Yeah, crawled on my knees inspecting every damn leaf.
Found one with thick, waxy leaves. No spots. Tapped the pot – sounded hollow? Means dry roots. Skipped it. Dug my finger into the dirt – damp but not swampy. Good sign.
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Must-dos now:
- Look for bushy, not just tall. Mine’s gotta grow sideways too.
- No shiny leaves! Real fiddle leafs ain’t got plastic spray crap.
- Wiggle the trunk near dirt. If it’s loose, roots are garbage. Found that out.
- Sniff-test. Rotten smell? Hell no. Walk away.
Nearly bought a crooked one ‘cause it was cheap. Seller said “it’ll straighten.” Lies. Walked out. Took me two hours but found a chunky little guy with 5 new buds. Yes.
Hauling It Home Right
Put that sucker in my passenger seat. Buckled up. No joke – drove 15mph home. Drafts kill these babies. Left it by the window untouched for a week. Let it adjust. Touching it daily? Nope. That’s how you lose leaves.
Now it’s been three months. Got six new leaves popping. Still nervous watering it though – that’s another battle.
Bottom line: Be pickier than your grandma at a flea market. Fight the urge to buy the sad discount plant. They die faster than TikTok trends.
